I can't bear seeing a family member having a problem.. sedihku. and now.. I'm thinking of one. I really dream of a perfect life. PERFECT. nothing to think of.. not even the family. yourself. the others. money. knowledge. amal ibadah. I wanna be the best.. from A to Z.
Looking at other people.. and hear a story about them. How can people be that rich? How? Why can't I be one? Why is it that hard to try and be one? Friends around me.. banyak hidup sanang. kan merasa susah ani pun payah kali durang ani?! I feel small. Don't be one Zaty! You have your own goal.. you have enough knowledge of this! You know what to do with everything! (comforting myself). sigh.
All my life, I never felt failure hitting me until NOW. my god. I never felt this way. I mean.. I was always the person who always feel so superior (not an arrogant bastard) and I can do this and that. I have the confidence in everything.. used to. but what happened to me now? I failed in everything! sigh. kenapakan tuu? I really hope Allah would listen to my pray.
p/s I hate it when I sincerely smiled at other people but in return I was stared ferociously. wth with that? I ever made a mistake to you? I don't think so!
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