Marriage

Hello blog,

been so long. Here I just wanna share something out of the mind. 

Marriage? What is marriage to you? Some will say married to the person that you love. Some will say marry to the guy that you've been going out with.. and married to the family as well. Definition of marriage to each people is different I guess. To me.. marriage means menghalalkan your relationships and produce kids by then. 

Fact 1: Firstly i'm glad that between me and my husband is halal now. I get satisfaction by that... the idea of holding your husband's hand is no longer haram is the best feelings ever. I am thankful that I got married early. Early marriage means your parents no longer holds your responsibility especially regarding aurat and sembahyang. am I right? 

Fact 2: Accept the fact that it'll be hard and darn difficult for each of you to satisfy your in-laws. Sometimes you just want to give up and lock yourself in your room. Some of you might have the best in-laws ever.. that's incredibly great. but for some.. it won't go as you imagine. For ladies.. when you are married already.. you have to give priority to your in-laws. I have to admit its difficult. 

Fact 3: Just after your marriage.. GET OUT from your parents' crib! and find yourself a home for you and your husband and your underlings. Why? No one would know your behaviour especially imperfect ones! Means no one will hunt you other than your husband. Why do you need parents to scold you when you are big enough now. not fun at all. Another reason is.. so that families won't "mengata" about you to the other people. This thing exists! 

Fact 4: Don't expect everything will turn out well even it looks like it. When you do, you'll find frigging news that could attack you up to your nerves. heh. Sometimes things goes well with you.. but not between the families (your families and your husband's families). 

Fact 5: Never forget who you are before you marry this guy! because when you do, you'll lose the fun in your relationships.

Fact 6: Always remember who is the KING OF YOUR HOUSE. and who is the QUEEN OF THE HOUSE. It means the husband will be the king and the wife will be the queen obviously. Whenever you feel down when someone's around and you feel "limited".. try not to. You have all the rights to intervene and get in control in your own house. When someone said something about your house etc.. just remember that "its our  house" - this is what my husband said to me and it makes me feel better eventhough its out of control.

Fact 7: Don't let your parents or in-laws babysit your children most of the time. You'll find dissatisfaction and inequality hit you. Plus I always have this problem that what you do whether its wrong or right.. my kids will follow. if its the good thing.. then lucky you. but if its the bad thing.. what else can you say? its your mistake at the first place! Another reason.. you hate to hear when they 'merungut' about it right? so please.. get a maid or better one.. you take care of your own kids. I'm thankful i'm a housewife not just because I couldn't get a job yet.. but its what my husband wants as for now. 

Fact 8: Don't let other family members let you do things that you don't want. You may not be selfish.. but others are selfish. Remember that! Hidup di dunia ani sentiasa ada memijak kepala walaupun sedarah sedaging. My father doesn't come from what i call "perfect family" but for my mother.. she was taught with a well-educated in religion and somehow her world is small. This imperfect family of my father sometimes gave this whole idea of world especially regarding something that makes you 'jara'. My father said to me once.. "kalau hati sudah kata inda mau menolong.. jangan tolong. pasal inda mau hujung hari bebangkit" - eventhough to your siblings. 

Here are my definition of marriage in details people. Don't be scared to get married by reading my post.. its the adventure that we want and rezeki untuk mendapatkan zuriat is the important thing. Zuriat yang ada.. teach them not just for duniawi.. but ukhrawi. my father selalu kata "sembahyang jangan pernah tinggal. tiang ugama mesti buat insyaAllah rumahtangga tahan". You don't want to tanggung dosa sendiri.. and tambah lagi dengan dosa anak yang kita tanggung right? think about it.