Marriage

Hello blog,

been so long. Here I just wanna share something out of the mind. 

Marriage? What is marriage to you? Some will say married to the person that you love. Some will say marry to the guy that you've been going out with.. and married to the family as well. Definition of marriage to each people is different I guess. To me.. marriage means menghalalkan your relationships and produce kids by then. 

Fact 1: Firstly i'm glad that between me and my husband is halal now. I get satisfaction by that... the idea of holding your husband's hand is no longer haram is the best feelings ever. I am thankful that I got married early. Early marriage means your parents no longer holds your responsibility especially regarding aurat and sembahyang. am I right? 

Fact 2: Accept the fact that it'll be hard and darn difficult for each of you to satisfy your in-laws. Sometimes you just want to give up and lock yourself in your room. Some of you might have the best in-laws ever.. that's incredibly great. but for some.. it won't go as you imagine. For ladies.. when you are married already.. you have to give priority to your in-laws. I have to admit its difficult. 

Fact 3: Just after your marriage.. GET OUT from your parents' crib! and find yourself a home for you and your husband and your underlings. Why? No one would know your behaviour especially imperfect ones! Means no one will hunt you other than your husband. Why do you need parents to scold you when you are big enough now. not fun at all. Another reason is.. so that families won't "mengata" about you to the other people. This thing exists! 

Fact 4: Don't expect everything will turn out well even it looks like it. When you do, you'll find frigging news that could attack you up to your nerves. heh. Sometimes things goes well with you.. but not between the families (your families and your husband's families). 

Fact 5: Never forget who you are before you marry this guy! because when you do, you'll lose the fun in your relationships.

Fact 6: Always remember who is the KING OF YOUR HOUSE. and who is the QUEEN OF THE HOUSE. It means the husband will be the king and the wife will be the queen obviously. Whenever you feel down when someone's around and you feel "limited".. try not to. You have all the rights to intervene and get in control in your own house. When someone said something about your house etc.. just remember that "its our  house" - this is what my husband said to me and it makes me feel better eventhough its out of control.

Fact 7: Don't let your parents or in-laws babysit your children most of the time. You'll find dissatisfaction and inequality hit you. Plus I always have this problem that what you do whether its wrong or right.. my kids will follow. if its the good thing.. then lucky you. but if its the bad thing.. what else can you say? its your mistake at the first place! Another reason.. you hate to hear when they 'merungut' about it right? so please.. get a maid or better one.. you take care of your own kids. I'm thankful i'm a housewife not just because I couldn't get a job yet.. but its what my husband wants as for now. 

Fact 8: Don't let other family members let you do things that you don't want. You may not be selfish.. but others are selfish. Remember that! Hidup di dunia ani sentiasa ada memijak kepala walaupun sedarah sedaging. My father doesn't come from what i call "perfect family" but for my mother.. she was taught with a well-educated in religion and somehow her world is small. This imperfect family of my father sometimes gave this whole idea of world especially regarding something that makes you 'jara'. My father said to me once.. "kalau hati sudah kata inda mau menolong.. jangan tolong. pasal inda mau hujung hari bebangkit" - eventhough to your siblings. 

Here are my definition of marriage in details people. Don't be scared to get married by reading my post.. its the adventure that we want and rezeki untuk mendapatkan zuriat is the important thing. Zuriat yang ada.. teach them not just for duniawi.. but ukhrawi. my father selalu kata "sembahyang jangan pernah tinggal. tiang ugama mesti buat insyaAllah rumahtangga tahan". You don't want to tanggung dosa sendiri.. and tambah lagi dengan dosa anak yang kita tanggung right? think about it. 

Pregnancy Talk

So.. i'm 37 weeks pregnant. Few days to 38 weeks. and my 40th week should be on the 23rd October 2009. But entah.. i don't think i'll be delivering on the 40th week. eheh.

guess what.. here's the funny story. I was standing in front of Eyan and couldn't stop talking and blabbing and Eyan was just looking continuously at my feet. and he said something like.. is it me yg salah liat or ur kaki mcm bangkak? and I was like looking down tarus and shocked to see my feet mcm kana sangat ahhhhhhhhhh. OMG. bangkakkkkkk.. tinggi usul kakiku ah.

and HOW THE HELL AKU BULIH NDA SADAR KAKIKU BANGKAK DARI PAGI TO PTG AH? cubatahhh. no wonder kasutku mcm fit semua. haha. oh well..

Anyway.. was google-ing about it. its called oedema due to water-retention within tissues whatever or it may cause by something blood circulation. I don't know which one relates to me. I'm thankful its not hurting me though gatal rasanya.

My 2009 Raya

It was different and sad. I mean.. there's always my parents every morning and I usually woke up at 7 or 8 to get ready for the first day Aidilfitri. and this year Raya.. I was at my husband's place.. and he usually woke up late and ignoring things i guess. I couldn't go back to sleep fyi I woke up at 6.. I can't help to wake my husband early as well like.. 7ish. Told him to go to Masjid for Sembahyang Raya.. not a bachelor anymore. He should know his responsibility as a Muslim.

Hearing Takbir Raya early morning did make me cry though my husband didn't notice it. heh. Somehow its touching for this year. hmm. and what's funny.. i listened to khutbah raya from the beginning til the end. I spent my first day Raya in KB and came down to my place at night.. yeehee.. got to taste my mother's ketupat and serunding. She did made an unappreciated (as for my father) effort to cook that for us.

and what I love the most for "our" Raya since three years ago.. we always take pictures together. I don't need to go to photo studio.. because i think our pictures looked best. hehe. I have alot but these are the only pictures that I loved seeing everytime.. :)



Early setup before the final pictures to be taken. hehe. see my cute bumpy tummy. My mom was pretty fussy with my Baju "sudah ku bagitau jgntah baju sampit2" hahahaha.





I love my makeup.. and i wore fake eyelashes.. rasakan mau eyelash panjang atu ahhh. I wanted to do the extension but I don't want to be disappointed and will keep on pulling them at the end of the day. lol. I'm loving my longer hair.. though I feel like cutting them. hmm. I don't think my husband will allow me.. he doesn't trust me to go to the salon by myself.

oh well.. that's all for my raya. I didn't go raya-ing much this year since my days are near.. my back is not coping very well with my heavy weight too. hmm. I haven't meet all the cousins jua.. be it my mother's side or my father's. I miss my place.. Penanjong to be exact.

and ohh.. regarding the flyers below.. Do any of you ever thought how the hell I climbed up that curb whatever u call it? I have to say shit! hahahaha. and I'M PREGNANTTTTTT. hahahahaha. its pretty funny.. we should have recorded that moment.

Ramadhan

Yeehee.. its Ramadhan. Welcome Ramadhan. Unfortunately i did not fast today because many people said i'm not recommended but menyasal rasakuuuu.. i'll catch with puasa tomorrow. ehehehe. Hopefully it'll be fine. Amin Amin Amin. I'm looking forward if I can manage to khatam Quran by the end of Ramadhan.. the earlier the better.

My first sahur was at my in law.. first sungkai also. I'll hop to my family's tomorrow *grin* macam si banar aku atu ikut sahur.. puasa nada. hahaha. I just want to accompany the husband though there were other family members. Herewith, I would like to greet SELAMAT BERPUASA friends, cousins and relatives and anonymous. I just knew that Kaka Lina linked me.. hehe. Thanks. I'll link all you people next time.. i'm lazy too put in and put out names and updates. ehehe.



and ohh.. guess what were we doing yesterday? My husband and I and his cousin and also a friend went to Pantai Muara for Raya Photoshoot. and of course it'll be posted during the first day of Raya insyaAllah. It was fun with the baju kurung and me wearing heels with my bulging tummy. hahahahaha. I miss my heels. kan melawankan.. "nda jua sakit bah pakai heels" tunggu batah memakai karang nda tejalan. hahahaha.

Attachment? ergh.. I became the Manager of Sales and Business Development for two weeks.. not formally. this is just according to me. Why do I say me the Manager? because i'm the one who attends Manager's meeting. and employees from other departments actually asked me few questions as in "in my opinion" (nda jua patut tu) and i'm doing the CAPEX (capital expenditure) of the proposed project. Even my husband who has a degree and has been working for 3 years never do the CAPEX. amazing right?

Thank god my boss will be here by this Monday. I hate meetings.. unfortunately i will not be in the office in the morning to update him on what I've been doing. I'm sure he's lost as well.

Boring Updates

hahahahahaha. sorry for the lack of updates. I'm expecting cobwebs if this blog is physical. lol. I know I know.. I haven't post my wedding pictures.. I think its too late for me to post that.

Life as of now? I'm bulging from today to tomorrow. you get what I mean. Husband is gaining more weight than I do.. lol. and I need to mention it here.. I gain 3.1kg in a month. 0_0 and addition to this topic.. eyan gained 4. hahahaha.
My attachment? I'm starting to feel that I'm doing most of the job in my department since there is only me and my Boss in the department. Imagine that? and I hate stairs.. f*** stairs.. rumah tangga.. kraja tangga. cramp kakiku.

As of today.. 3/8/09.. I went home from work at 10pm.. I hate it. not what I expect.. especially me in my heavy situation and me as an attachment student. damn. eheh. Its all because of a visit by this one particular organisation that'' be tomorrow.. everything is last minute. ergh. I told you.. i'm like know most of my department's stuff. eheh.

I think my husband is doing his office work now as well. I guess he has alot to catch up with since he was on leave for two days last week.

Wedding update

Here's an update.. 

For the past few weeks i've been hibernating from the outside world.. technically. because.. I'M WAITING FOR THIS DAY. hehehe. Yeay.. finally officially we're husband and wife. HEE. Ask me? How do I feel? I'm ecstatically excited, happy and honored and kambang as well. Though my day starts with gloomy faces due to some reasons I can't go against.. Its my day.. our day. 5/6/09.

I got so serious when the Nikah ceremony starts.. shaky jua ku *grin* So many things to do.. I mean with the signing.. giving permission to my dad as wali.. listening to khutbah nikah (all this time.. I thought it would be longer) then hearing to Eyan's whatever. He was stiff-sounded... lol. and what's funny.. after 4weeks of khursus nikah.. my nene as the Imam asked him "ingat masih apa rukun nikah?" hahahaha. and idk.. maybe those trigger his nervousness.. he couldn't answer. lol. and people laughed.. seriously. You won't expect that question from Imam aka nene lakiku. 

moving on.. we took lotsa pictures.. I think. Hmm.. Eyan is goooooddd in front of cameras.. lol. I hope the pictures will go well. 

gotta bounce.. I need to lulur my face and hit the sack soon. tomorrow will be my berbedak function/berinai too. Hope things will get better tomorrow. Amin ya rabbal alamin.

Randomized post

Few things happen for a reason. I quoted Nurul's words.. "if ko sudah kana bagi cemani, ani amanah Allah arah mu". I guess I believe that. 

I was scrolling through this one lady's pictures.. not gonna mention here. She looks glowy and I have to say "clean".. something just shows the pureness from her face. I guess a person is letting her go does have an effect on her.. I pray for your wellness from head to toe. Amin. I saw her at the mall last time but it feels weird to approach her.. even to smile at her. Lets just put it that way.. I'm not hating you.. its just.. I don't feel good to be put the blame on me when my intention is good for this two people eventhough its not working very well in the end. Somehow it did before the ends really totally over. hmm. what i'm saying here is.. amanah nya might be arah someone else.. not this one person anymore. maybe there is need to change this new person? or.. idk. 

Anyway, I attended Khursus Nikah for 3times already.. next week will be my final khursus. Having a lecturer in front of us and me listening very carefully.. here's one thing. As you people know.. "kata2 itu satu doa". Kata2 actually involves everything.. our mindset, what the heart is saying and all. As hard as I don't want to believe that.. actually it is true. what's in your thought but was not said aloud.. it is a doa. I came across few events in my life that I imagined dulu came true. scary huh? That is why you are not allowed to be a pessimistic. 

p/s O_O its 2 weeks. the wedding is in 2 weeks. and damn.. my room is not fully furnished yet. lol. and the parents kept on calling me every single day asking me this and that.. how can I relax my mind? ergh. 

Anywhoo, Happy Belated 3rd year Anniversary Shopian. It was more than 3 years from the day we met actually.. hahaha. 

WOKE UP AT 3 IN THE MORNING

Something just bothers me up causing my continuing headache and disgusted of bed. I'm getting tired to share it with other people. I just don't understand the person that i've been with for few years. I am never gonna read this person. 

What I did wrong.. I don't even know. What's missing in me.. I am not sure. You are no longer my sleeping pills that you were.. being beside you is insecure. I just wish that people would know my current "situation" and the depression that i've been through. As hard as I am avoiding and controlling the stress at school.. this is just not acceptable. 

Big day is coming.. only few knows what it is.. right Min? thanks for being there to comfort me though I haven't pass any specific informations. An angel who accepts any bad behaviour.. the so-called "carried away" *sigh* I don't know when will I be the devil.. I just wish. I am just hoping this would stop until here as responsibilities are getting heavier in years to come and I don't think I can bear to go through the same thing again. 

I just miss being kids that I miss my parents to be with me. Lately was hectic discussing things with the parents so I have alot of time with them. I just feel like confronting them but I know.. life is abit longer than I expected. and maybe someday.. saving it for someday. 

FUNNY THING

Someone is google-ing "zati eyan" yesterday twice using a mac and a window OS *wondering* heh.

BTW, EASILY OFFENDED PERSON IS NOT ALLOWED TO READ THE CONTENT OF MY BLOG. AND IF THERE'S THE EXISTENCE OF OFFENDED FEELINGS, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE ME MESSAGES, COMMENTS AND ENQUIRY ME. BUT YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME TO LEAVE THIS BLOG ASAP.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

PRETTY DOWN

I'm still furious.  I know its stupid that i'm burdening my head of someone else.. that person disgusted me soooo much.. seriously. I was told about her saying things about me but it seems like.. sigh. I have all kinds of dissatisfaction inside me. I'm truly sick of you and you and you... I need to stop. but then.. this person (should I put 's' ?) cakap tidak serupa bikin. If you are normal and not having mental illness.. i'm sure you can see that i'm not fucking wrong bitch! ergh. 

Regarding this thing sneaking in and out my head is annoying enough. First, this year is my last year at Business School then I actually gonna have my ND. but things never satisfy me as I really wanna get my degree. but I WANNA WORK. life is not easy without money.. I kinda need that already. I've planned few things.. and I really wanna get the degree that I want.. I don't want to be the person who takes things for granted and just take whatever course that can accept him/her. That will make more dissatisfaction. I had enough regretting.

Things I don't like in the education of Brunei is.. they decide for you from your younger age until now. I mean.. when we are in form 6.. we can actually choose what subject we want to invest to. but few tutors won't be agreeing to your choice because they see you as incapable when you are from Art Stream. yea.. I know you all are being cautious but that decision is tearing few people. 

and hence, I learn my lesson. I love what i'm doing now though its not easy. There's nothing easy made for us. and I'm gonna get this subject for my A'level. InsyaAllah. All I need is the guts. May Allah let me have this feelings forever.. never enough of what I can do and able to do. Amin. May Allah give me all the success of life. Amin. 

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I was watching Channel V this morning and I find this cute. haha. Koreans.. they have this glimmering and stunning skins. hmm. ohh.. last night I went to Intan Spa somewhere near Micronet. The place is awesome.. feels like Bali environment. The masseuse is I can say knowledgeable in massage and she gave few other tips. eheh. and Eyan commented on the guy masseur.. he's pretty good compared to the guy he always visit at Serusop. So kamu2 laki2.. try him. eheh. 

PINK PANTHER 2 REVIEW

I'm kinda disappointed with the next movie. heh. Its much more fun watching the first one. The story line is just the same. I give it 6/10. I like cinema 1 though. hehehe. Aishwarya Rai was in the movie as well.. she looked so stunningly beautiful. and there's no subtitles last night.. its not that I need subtitles for every movie I watch but then.. remember Steve Martin's English accent? macam.. messy bunyinya ah. I missed out hearing few things. 

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ohh.. I was surprised twice at school. btw, my surprised birthday celebration. The first one is on the actual day which was on the 4th.. and I actualy get 21 candles as I said in my Facebook. damn. HAHA. Eyan bought the cake from Bakerlyn and he didn't admit it still. I know where the classmates usually buy the cake Darl.. and I know Bakerlyn is not a choice for cutting cost I mean. no offence classmates but true kannn? Its my 2nd Bakerlyn cake. eheh. 

Frankly speaking, I wasn't actualy surprised. HAHA. idk.. I'm immune to this surprise thing already since we always surprised everyone in the class.. not missing out even one! last year was bad cause I never had a surprise birthday party! hehe. 

my 2nd was yesterday.. I thought you guys are going to surprise Ramzi.. believe me that I sang the birthday song yesterday for Ramzi.. and when they reached "... to Ramzi........ and Zaty" I was like.. "eyh?" bangang jua ku sudah tu. HAHAHA. and a birthday girl was singing a birthday song for herself sounds lame. hahaha. 

Thanks Love and dearest Friends.. thank you so much. You guys should have surprise me di Traders Inn. I won't expect that much. lol. Yes baby.. I know your actual plan already. I asked and they told me as you don't want to say a word about it. 

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY RAMZI

p/s Thank you all for the greetings though my sleep was disturbed. hehe. and I switch it so silent mode. HAHA.

UPDATE. UPDATE. UPDATE

I'm bored. Baby conquered the TV.. he is watching a match between Liverpool and Everton. and Everton had its first goal just now. and I was busy taking pictures of my fake eyelashes *lol* I know.. I'm still sakai. gosh.. this will take ages for me to get over it. haha. 

Oh I just want to talk about how I miss to sleep at my nene's place with all my cousins around. We used to meet up at nene's place especially when there was function like.. wedding etc. and we all were busy bepacar jua and slept late at night tunggu pacar karing. hehe. and convinced all the cousins to sleep at nene saja. Then, ambil bantal and tidur arah living room nene. sigh. How I wish it was like back then masane. unfortunately, nope.. nada lagi cematu since nada lagi orang kawin. nada lagi function basar2. so yea.

*I can see lines of  eyelashes of mine* majal. oh.. I bought ONE TREE HILL season 5. was trying to download them few days ago and ergh.. i'm sure it will take some times that I'm sick of the internet here in Brunei. But I'm thankful I have internet here. hehe *Eyan is talking to himself being emotional I guess*

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR

BEAUTY FREAK

Wuuhuu.. finally I got my eyelash extension. lol. sekadar ah? I couldn't wear my spectacles properly and comfortably. HEE. and I showed them to my mom today.. and she laughed. and commented I looked like Minnie Mouse :D that badd huh.. 

oh so I was cursed.. I know. my badd for telling those conversation but then.. you think you are perfect and you sure you are telling the truth. I haven't bitch about YOU for so longgg like after the quarrel and YETTTTT.. you are messing around with your bloody tongue and other people's feelings. HAHAHA. lady lady.. the day you talk about your love life is the day that I know everything. how caring was I to hear your rungutan? anddd guess what.. that was the best feelings I had when I played around with yours too. 

fyi, I don't mind losing a friend like YOU.. cause u never get tired playing with fire. damn you. lol. I learned from my mistakes but DID YOU? There are always reasons for whatever you get nowadays A.K.A karma. and you wished something bad for me? as long as I act better than you.. insyaAllah.. I will have the life I want. 

p/s May the best comes to you. 

TOTAL BLACKOUT

I simply couldn't sleep. Blame it on the power supply shit. Remember that I told you guys about the power was out last time. and guess what?? it was out again this afternoon until midnight. fucker. and was bitten by mosquitoes all over my bods. ergh. and now i'm blogging and watching tv at the same time - THS Simon Cowell. 

Speaking of which.. Eyan and I went out to kill time since there's no electricity here at home. I had fun. We went to Hua Ho Manggis, then tried checking Gadong to pay bills and was shocked that they had a blackout as well. Most shops are closed. uhuh.. that's a loss for a dayyyy or days for worst case. heh. Then we headed to Yayasan and me bought a dress. i loike. If i am that vain.. i'm sure i'll take a picture of everything I bought. lol. and ended the day with dinner at Blue Eden (lucky them the power was there while others closed). 

oh oh.. I had this conversation with Eyan and a tempting atmosphere I must say. mmmh mmmh. It will be in July during my attachment insyaAllah. and its 3weeks. something gotta do with the West *pout & sigh* and alot of money. heh. dun ask. i'll let you wonder! I have this temptation to post what is it all about but naehhh.. hehe. 

Rain.. Rain.. Go Away

Its pouring lately. like.. the morning looks like its 6 p.m. I knowww.. exaggerate. but.. seriously, I rather if its sunny. I haven't read newspapers and watch TV news.. idk what is happening nowadays. A pretty scary news I heard though regarding landslides and drowning. sigh. 

As of us, the electricity was out from 9a.m. yesterday and baru buka 1.30 a.m. tadi. Can u believe that? omg. gracious its not so hot here. I still can sleep tightly though Eyan woke me up twice.. that's my only problem. lol. 

and a friend.. just finish playing badminton and was about to go home from Beribi last 2 days i think.. (he lived at Sengkurong).. took him 3 hours to get back home. hahaha. pasal banjir. hehe. Its banjir everywhere. merijap eh. mimiet's ant enoy's place as well. 

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so.. what's new? im craving for cakes for ages already. cheesy cakes. chocolatey cakes. uuhh. and DORAYAKI. sh*t.. the only place that have the nyaman-ness dorayaki is Zoo Malaysia. hahaha. seriously.. I think im going to buy the ingredients for pancakes and put peanut butter in it. omg. 

Eyan and I will be having black pepper beef for lunch later. yeay. He's so busy with sports lately. and I'm busy with "privilege".. hee. I nearly finish watching the one from Ham. btw, Thanks Hamnorazri. Badminton court at Empire is soo cool. hehe. I went there last night with Eyan :D (lumpat2 jua crita ku ani ah)

p/s I'm so sorry that I havent been active in uploading pictures here. I don't think I have new pictures since nada 400D lagi. eheh. I know its boring. hmm.

BELATED

Happy 32nd Ann. Another day like a routine one. sigh. The different is only.. we went to Empire for a walk. That was the start of the negative mode. ergh. mann.. i'm just so effing sensitive. How I wish he could understand. 

The night was just so hectic with a video shoot. It was chaotic and ergh.. tiring. I know I sat all night long heck I still feel tired. more.. I'm shocked by the fact that Eyan's parents is staying over at his place tonight and NO ONE is bothered to inform us. heh. 

we're moving soon. I can't wait. I mean.. I will eventually take in control of the place. I mean.. without sharing it with anyone else. eheh. I hope so. I changed my blog address.. I know no one is going to read this though. and I feel good at least I don't need to control2. eheh. 

Difficulty in Life

I can't bear seeing a family member having a problem.. sedihku. and now.. I'm thinking of one. I really dream of a perfect life. PERFECT. nothing to think of.. not even the family. yourself. the others. money. knowledge. amal ibadah. I wanna be the best.. from A to Z.

Looking at other people.. and hear a story about them. How can people be that rich? How? Why can't I be one? Why is it that hard to try and be one? Friends around me.. banyak hidup sanang. kan merasa susah ani pun payah kali durang ani?! I feel small. Don't be one Zaty! You have your own goal.. you have enough knowledge of this! You know what to do with everything! (comforting myself). sigh. 

All my life, I never felt failure hitting me until NOW. my god. I never felt this way. I mean.. I was always the person who always feel so superior (not an arrogant bastard) and I can do this and that. I have the confidence in everything.. used to. but what happened to me now? I failed in everything! sigh. kenapakan tuu? I really hope Allah would listen to my pray.

p/s I hate it when I sincerely smiled at other people but in return I was stared ferociously. wth with that? I ever made a mistake to you? I don't think so! 

MISERABLY TIRED

Hello. I've been lazy to update the blog lately cause as usual idk what to blog. More, i'm kinda bored that we don't have any camera atm. The old camera is fucked up already.. too old to work. There's problem with the memory bla bla bla. and I miss taking pictures.. quality one. whatever. whoever. sigh. you know.. just if I have a new DSLR.. I might be posting more pictures here. or.. SLR saja kah?

I'm friggin bored now.. I'm suppose to finish up my econs as the due date is tomorrow but then Nurul haven't pass the book to me.. and I know I'll be in a rush to finish everything up. *inhale* Eyan is going to play badminton later with his colleage and Min. Eyan is pretty busy lately.. I mean.. he went out nearly everyday doing his activities after work like rollerblading, badminton. and tonight he is meeting up David for idk.. rollerblade thing. not that I want him to worry about me.. but idk.

What else? Eyan's ex is adding me up in facebook. it feels weird. hehe. no offence if you are reading this. You have your own lovelife nowadays.. I have my own. so.. ok. I don't wanna think of that. I am mentally exhausted.. ergh. Hey.. I bought a new spectacle, clear contact lens and umm new shoes again. I just can't have enough of that. I wonder if anyone still read my blog? *yawn* I'm off to take my nap now. ciao people. 

TALK ABOUT MYSELF

1. I always thought that I can do anything. When I say "anything" .. it means "everything". talk about self-confidence. bleurgh. 
   
2. I never let Eyan do his thing on his own because I see him as incapable of doing things. 
3. When he do his thing e.g. laundry, ironing.. I don't feel comfortable cause I thought that it is my job to do all that.
4. I seldom stay alone at home when Eyan is out. means.. I'm with him like nearly all the time (btw, I did ask him whether he wanted time alone? but he said no or its okay)
5. I care about what other people think of me.. but sometimes I neglect Eyan's feelings. but again.. most of the time.. I'm doing my second thought before I wanna do something. 
6. I'm strict with my siblings but I'm open whenever they talk about their gf/bf. only on certain parts like cleanliness, self-discipline etc.
7. I have difficulties in managing my life within my family and Eyan's because each of them have a different lifestyle. 
8. I don't really understand traditional/cultural value like "sia-sia pun" "jopalis"
9. I don't like admitting that "I need your help". not even to my close ones. 
10. I hate it when people don't ask for others' permission to wear/use the owners' things. even little thing.
11. I envy other people's posture and smooth face and that lead me to "nasib lah ko lawa.. mun inda.. inda ko cematu" eheh.
12. I never look at other guys eventhough I'm single. Its just not right to me. and I can't understand why.. why.. why.. a girl/boy doesn't have enough of his/her gf/bf.
13. I can solve and give the best advice for others but I can't think properly when it comes to me having problem. 
14. I am a loner. I don't like to go to a place where there are traffic everywhere.. be it cars or human beings. 
15. I have this weird thing.. my choice of restaurants/place to eat.. is depending on my mood. Sometimes I feel like going to the most visited ones.. OR.. the least
16. I don't like to involve with what's the "in" thing.. I rather be left out and do it some other time. 
17. I hate it when people leave their "bakas2an" and anything that is not originated from me and i'm the one who cleans it. Pass that to the maid please? and if you don't have one.. you know what to do.. do it on your own!
18. I have my "kana" moment and I will stay up late at night to do everything.
19. I have an arrogant look quoted from few friends. but i'm not one.
20. I only have 182 contacts in my email/messenger. see.. I told you I'm a loner. HAHAHA. and I don't add and accept people that I don't know. 

CRAVES

I have this in my mind. lol. its like a virus that cannot be cure. so yea. I cant stop looking at all these things. hahaha. I love the cardigan much. I searched few shopping blogs that sell cardigan and im like.. bulih ku order kah ne ah? it is cheaper in M'sia then here. ergh. 

The gadgets above.. sigh.. I want them badly. hahhaa. esp the phone. I was considering between N96 or E71. I know there will be a new one out soon.. the upgrade version of E71 but hell.. I still want the old one. I read the review already though. nwys, Eyan.. congrats on getting your new baby. Alhamdulillah. Its still a "shhhh" until he announce it himself :D 

Yesterday, OHEF (my business group) did the gardening as that is our social responsibility. damn.. my back hurts, ankle and wrist as well. puas ku meliat cacing ditanah ah.. I shrieked alot.. gali kuuuuu. ergh. We might come to school this friday to finish up the gardening thing cause we have to do the report and pass it up by the end of November.. so yea. 

p/s 400d is officially not with us anymore. lomos might be able to take off my mind of the 400d. it is still fun with the fisheye and holga and diana. HEE.